To Cut or Not to Cut? How the Pros Do It…
Summer rocks! A few boating + lake trips with the fam, lots of horse time, and getting caught up with some beloved clients and their incredible books, and I’m one lucky, sunburned gal. I took Oprah’s suggestion and very much enjoyed Wild, by Cheryl Strayed—Larry and I are hiking freaks, so her story resonated. And, I’m even finding wee bits of time while cooking dinner some nights to listen to Fifty Shades of Grey to understand what all the fuss is about. So far, no ah-ha moments. In fact, I’m confused. I keep hearing Stephen King’s tutorial in my head (quoting his brilliant bestseller, On Writing): “The adverb is not your friend. ‘He said,’ ‘she said’ wins out over the ‘he shot backs,’ ‘she retorts.’” Didn’t we all collectively agree to this editorial way of life? A quick viewing of the comments on Amazon.com tells me I’m not the only one wondering what the heck was going on in that editorial department.
Numerous friends have said once the lurid stuff starts, I’ll be positively RIVETED by the exploits of Mr. Grey and his young Ana despite any over writing. Hmmm… Why am I feeling a little scared by that?
At any rate, it got me thinking. About this over-writing tendency most of us (myself included) seem to have. Yes, unfortunately, I’d say it’s the norm. Yesterday, while editing a famous author’s third book, I realized how often even the most popular authors do it… inadvertently top-loading their works with unnecessary, cringe-worthy excess + filler words. It occurred to me that I’d written a blog post about that several years ago, and that it might be time to post that baby again. For those of you who knew and read me back in August of 2010, use this as a refresher. If you’ve stumbled upon this site since then, it’ll be new, and hopefully somewhat interesting. I’ll read it again, too. My editorial client will appreciate knowing I’ve done my homework before digging back into her opus later today. Here goes. If you like it, I’d love to know:)
Tightening Your Text!
What do blood-sucking leeches and filler words (…“that,” “very,” “truly,” “just,” “pretty,” “so,” “little,” etc.) have in common? They “infest the pond of prose, sucking the blood of words,” writes William Strunk, Jr. & E.B. White—authors of the editorial bible, The Elements of Style, first published 50 years ago.
If you’re like most writers, you overuse these babies unconsciously. Sure, they’re subtle to a point, but then insidious—the infection on your page could be raging and yet you’re none the wiser.
What’s a writer to do?
First up, I advise immediately cleaning up the most glaring “rookie” filler errors. You know, those “verys” and “littles” that, other than word count, contribute zilch to your text. Obviously, you’re going to use these words, but I beg of you, do so sparingly. Agents, editors, publishers, and critics frown upon their overuse because it makes for lazy writing and boring reading.
That’s not to say, however, that times don’t change and along with them, common practices. Clearly, text has become more twitterific-conversational since our buds Strunk & White penned their masterpiece. So, rather than take their word for it, I decided to do my own informal comparison with two current best-selling titles—to see how today’s masters handle these problem children. (Call me crazy, but I actually thought blowing a few hours on a Sunday to scour books looking for key words was oddly juicing.) I chose the two following best-selling titles: Committed, by Elizabeth Gilbert, and Purple Cow, by Seth Godin.
In my made up, highly informal (and possibly faulty—let’s face it, I was eye-balling it) system for counting, I made two graphs of our evil “filler” words. Skipping each book intro, I dug in and read approximately 6,500 words of each title, checking off fillers as I went. (If only I’d had the Word docs, I’d have done a “find” search and counted in minutes vs. hours. But, no such luck.)
Next, once I tallied each word, I multiplied it by the number representing the approximate total book word count, coming up with an approximate average for each word. Hardly scientific, I know, but amusing just the same. Here’s how often the words appeared…
Just = 18 (Elizabeth’s) vs. 30 (Seth’s)
That = 324 vs. 315
Very = 117 vs. 95
So = 126 (1 per every 2.2 pages) vs. 45 (1 every 3.6 pages—about the same average for both, when factoring in size)
Really = 36 vs. 10
At all = 18 vs. 5
Little = 9 vs. 10
Truly = 0 vs. 0
Rather = 0 vs. 0
Definitely = 0 vs. 0
Certainly = 9 vs. 0
Pretty = 18 vs. 0
A bit = 0 vs. 0
Okay, counting errors aside, you’ll see both authors avoided certain no-no words beautifully. You’ll also see a trend toward the frequent use of others. HOWEVER—and this is a BIG however—these authors are so skilled in their usage that in almost every case I wouldn’t have omitted the filler word. On the contrary, what I found when comparing those numbers with the new-writer manuscripts on my desk (logging in several additional hours!), was a marked difference in the way rookie writers use filler word vs. the pros. For example, instead of using “very” in a sentence like this: “He was very nice and very strong” [a client example], see how Seth Godin uses this word…
“… Super-fast or super-slow. Very exclusive or very cheap. Very big or very small.” Would you cut anything here? Me either.
So, it’s not just how many times a word appears that makes it a wise choice or not. It’s the usage of the words that distinguishes it as filler (i.e. boring) or necessary (i.e. an added benefit). As you read your work aloud, you’ll feel and hear the difference.
In closing, I’ll leave you with an inspiring example of the strong use of the filler word “that” fromCommitted:
“…I vowed to him—drilling the words into his ear so he would grasp my earnestness—that I would not leave him, that I would do whatever it took to fix things, and that even if things could not somehow be fixed in America, we would always stay together anyhow, somewhere, wherever in the world that had to be.”
Bravo, Liz and Seth! I knew you were amongst my favorites—and most everyone else’s—for a reason!
Yours,
Linda
P.S. Remember to make time to play + read + write this summer. Fun new site additions + Carmel video coming within the next few days. I’ll let you know as soon as it’s all posted. xx
8 Responses to “To Cut or Not to Cut? How the Pros Do It…”
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Linda – While I love Seth Godin, lately he has been using “alas” quite frequently in his writing. Who speaks like that?
For reasons I cannot explain, nearly every notable in the social media space (Zuckerberg, Cashmore, etc) uses “so” to commence their interview replies. It’s unnerving!
So, it may be time for me to read On Writing again. :)
@Jeff,
It’s not just in interviews, I’ve witnessed this “so” phenomenon in the office too. People begin their presentations or answer to a question with “so”. It’s becoming as annoying and over-used as “absolutely” was a few years ago.
Cheers
Well, if Seth’s doing it, that makes me feel better. There but for the grace of God go I… xx
Oooh much needed, thank you for the great demonstration Linda! I know I’m guilty of these babies, but the way you break the differences between how a pro does it and how newbies do it is really helpful.
Enjoy the sunshine!
Thank you Liz and Seth! That is just so very … encouraging; really!!!
SO, you must know this is VERY helpful! It’s JUST THAT I’d RATHER my words sound REALLY PRETTY than a LITTLE dull. CERTAINLY, you understand how TRULY difficult it is! I’m not sure if I deserve to call myself a writer AT ALL, but I will DEFINITELY try harder not to use these words SO carelessly from now on! ;)
Thank you for this post Linda! Perfect timing-from one of your newbies who needs all the guidance she can get!
Good stuff to know for a newbie like me! Thanks for the info, this will help me do a little self-editing.
Thanks Linda! An eminently helpful post. I’m going to search through my manuscript for the no-nos.