Waking up at my Carmel Writer Retreats with this view, and surrounded by such fierce talent and commitment to birth these gifts into the world, is an honor I’ll never tire of. But make no mistake: just because someone’s got everything it takes, doesn’t mean they aren’t scared out of their minds. It doesn’t mean their path, their creative process, their life circumstances will make that path easy for them.
Seeing them come here, some for their first writing retreat and making the long trek from Australia, Sweden, Montana, Ohio, Philly, and Denver–their greatest wishes tucked into the pages and laptops in their suitcases, heightens those feelings of urgency because now it’s real. Now it’s put up or shut up time. Time to physicalize what may have been until now mostly a persistent idea.
Fortunately, over the hours and days, the lull of the ocean helps soothe and inspire. Helps everyone breathe. They are not alone. Thousands of writers throughout time have sat in front of this view, have listened to their creative urgings, and put those ideas down.
At the start of every retreat, I tell the group this simple fact: “At some time this week, probably by tomorrow, you’re going to want to run. Leave. Pick up the phone and tell your husband, best friend, or mother that you made a mistake. You’re not smart enough. The others are better than you. You’re not really cut for groups anyway. And maybe this whole writing thing–maybe it’s a bad choice in general.”
A few laugh. “I’ve thought that all day already,” one or two of them will say. “I almost called to cancel last week!” The first year this used to freak me out. I’d worry they wouldn’t get to the other side. I’d feel the weight of a thousand dreams on my head, as if it was my job alone to heal whatever pain, rejection, or longstanding hurt they’d brought with them in a week. And then I saw that the fear of owning your voice, your story, your success, is universal. It’s part of the path to freedom we all must walk. It’s a sign of how much you really want something. And, embracing that fear is the first step in claiming that this time you will not be stopped.
