Ever see someone—maybe a close friend—hit the Big Time while you’re knocked flat on your ass? It’s crazy making!
One year, early on in my career, I dumped a clique of once beloved girlfriends just before they all hit the stratosphere. I’d bought their homemade jewelry when they couldn’t afford their rent. I drove all over Los Angeles and danced late into the night as one belted out songs in tiny bars. I strategized about what they should wear to auditions. They listened to me ramble on about who I wanted to interview for my first book, or what agent I dreamed of signing with. We cried to each other over lost deals, lost loves, and pounds gained. Mostly, we held each other’s dreams tight.
Until I just couldn’t do it any longer. We’d become dysfunctional. Too gossipy and stressed out to offer consistent, unconditional support. Three of us always seemed to triangulate, leaving the forth out in the smog. They were bright, beautiful, and brilliant. We’d had a good run. But I was moving out to the forest of New Mexico and it was time to take a break. No more cliques. No more talking behind each other’s backs. No more high-maintenance emotions (mine included).
It was time for peace and quiet and communing with nature. I’d found a humble Native American Indian Medicine Man who lived down the dirt road to teach me how to be the best kind of person and friend I could be. I followed his every walking-lightly-on-the-mother footstep. (Ironically, his life was not without its drama. Sigh. He was human.)
Within a short amount of time, my ex gal pals all became godzilioinaires. Without me. One had the female lead in one of the highest grossing movies of all time. One signed a massive record deal and became a Grammy-nominated rock star. The third starred in her own TV series that ran for years and made her “set for life,” as a mutual friend reported. All while my agent mailed me rejection after rejection for my first book and I found 13 ways to cook potatoes because sometimes that’s all I could afford.
Certain they were sharing a limo ride through Paris, clinking champagne glasses, and laughing aloud about their old friend Linda, the wannabe, I was devastated.
That was nothin’. Soon there was no escaping their successes. Hit songs played on every radio in town. I couldn’t drive without fear of seeing one of their faces staring down on me from a billboard. If I didn’t want to watch them being interviewed at a red-carpeted award show, on a talk show, or an entertainment show, I had to stay away from my TV altogether and haul ass through the electronics department at Walmart.
Jealous, anyone? God yes. But it wasn’t too long before I was also elated… for them, and for myself. These were my old teammates! They’d worked so hard. They’d lived and breathed their visions. They’d refused to take harsh criticism to heart, and eked out a living knowing they’d eventually create great beauty from nothing. They may have been scoring touchdowns in the Super Bowl while I was stuck sitting on the bench, but I knew most of the plays!
After the initial sting of hating myself for wanting to throw their action figures from my speeding car window, I sent them love and focused on my OWN goals. On making myself as ready and deserving as possible. On studying editing books and slogging through cruddy first drafts as diligently as any artist learning sheet music or practicing lines. My new goal? To offer high value and be world class. Soon, my agent called with the news I’d waited years to hear. I was getting published; and they were elated to have me. He didn’t even have to bribe them. (And, yes, I did cross paths with my three lost friends, and we all hugged and made up.)
I learned that it’s easier to realize a big dream when you see others doing it. And for that reason, I’m sharing our most recent fall Book Deal Success Stories here. Think of these ladies as your beloved teammates (and, lucky you, without any past cat fights–ha!). I’m thinking this is YOUR year, and seeing as how it’s a brand spanking New Year—isn’t it time for your fresh start? (Especially if you’re armed with Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map. You got your copy, right?)
In closing, as you see their names and faces below (and send them goodwill in your heart and mind), remember: It’s a big world. There’s more than enough to go around. And you’re next. Or very, very soon. Just be sure and put yourself in the game!
Big love,
Linda xx
I met the beautiful Janice MacLeod for the first time at my Carmel retreat. This Canada native oozes art. You’d never know that she used to write the stuff you threw away—like those Direct Mail notes from Direct TV and Visa that say, “We want you back!” Needless to say, she’s never, ever going back! Armed with a lust to live out of a suitcase, Janice worked hard to bank a year’s worth of living expenses and took off to travel the world. In Paris she fell in love with the man who became her fiancé this past December—just as she was also signing her book deal (in their Parisian apartment!) for: LETTERS FROM PARIS (SOURCEBOOKS, 2014).
I got really lucky meeting Elizabeth Murray—a renowned painter, photographer, Monet gardener, and author living down the street from my retreats (if she hadn’t lived so close, I don’t know that she’d have ever come!). Liz feels into and transforms nature more than anyone I’ve ever met. Plants and animals speak to her, and she’s enormously committed to protecting them. (It was Liz who first showed me the beautiful Native American Indian meditation spot in Point Lobos State Park—hundreds of years old—only a mile from the house. People from around the world say this is the most beautiful and profound walk of their lives.) I can’t wait for the world to read her stunning new insights on life and love in LIVING LIFE IN FULL BLOOM (RODALE, 2014).
I don’t know about you, but I’m a sucker for a doctor who’s not afraid to think out of the box, and follow her own intuitive ways of sharing her art/healing work. Elaine Ferguson, MD, was in the Guinea-Pig group who came to my first-ever retreat (in Colorado in 2009), and we’ve stayed tight. She’s been far too busy at a day job these past years, but never gave up on her goal of writing + sharing with the world this very powerful title, which she recently SOLD (and is set to receive nationwide PR through a partnership with PBS—wow!): SUPERHEALING: ENGAGING YOUR MIND, BODY, AND SPIRIT TO CREATE OPTIMAL WELL-BEING (HCI—HEALTH COMMUNICATIONS, 2013). P.S. working on getting a bigger photo of her!
Every time I start to feel overwhelmed, thinking I’ve got too much on my plate, Julie Jensen, puts it all in perspective for me and gives me a quick dose of what matters. This mother of five children couldn’t come to a retreat because health problems were limiting her ability to travel (she’s since gotten much stronger). Yet, her simple book, written from her heart, was so beautiful, so uplifting, so necessary for the world to see—that I had to help polish her message and proposal, and introduce her to agents. Laura Yorke recently sold THE ESSENCE OF A MOTHER (GLOBE PEQUOT PRESS, 2014), and I have no doubt it will move the world as much as it’s moved me (because remembering that our children don’t care as much about what we do as much as who we are be-ing is really cool).
Thank you for sharing this time with me! Please forward this post to anyone you know who may be wrestling with jealousy or feeling left out in the living-his-or-her dreams department. And, leave a comment and let me know your own jealousy-to-action stories. It’s such a relief to admit our foibles and see how creatively we can get over them already! xo
